We Finally Conquered Scafell Pike — And I Cracked a New Opening Line

We finally did it.

Against all the odds we conquered England's highest mountain, Scafell Pike, in the beautiful Lake District.

But we almost didn't… again.

You might remember that when we tried to climb it in 2022, a nasty dose of Covid, my dying phone and the weather defeated us.

But last week we were back to attempt the challenge once more.

An eleven-mile route march. Over five hours walking. And almost 3,000ft of climbing.

This time we were totally prepared for whatever fate would throw at us.

We had the route downloaded on three phones. We took three battery chargers. A paper map. A compass. And we even made sure the weather on the day would give us stunning views from the summit.

What we hadn't planned on was Amanda's walking boots falling apart halfway through the day.

They were already leaking, so she had wet feet for most of the climb.

But by the descent, the sole of her right boot was hanging off.

Disaster!

Okay, not quite.

The boot held together sufficiently for us to make it back to the car… but it was a close call.

Nonetheless, we can now say we've ticked Scafell Pike off our list.

And the boots are now in the bin.

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What are the most important words in any novel?

I think most readers would agree it's the first sentence.

My favourite of all time is in Iain Banks' 1992 novel, The Crow Road, which begins with this humdinger:

“It was the day my grandmother exploded.”

And then there's the first line of Gone Girl, which I've always thought is genius:

“When I think of my wife, I always think of her head.”

I wonder how long Gillian Flynn pondered on that one.

Get it right and it sets the tone for the rest of the book.

Which is why this week I've spent far too long working on the opening line of my new thriller, His Dead Wife.

This is what I settled on. I'd love to know what you think:

“The coffin sinks into the ground and her eyes peel open.”

I actually think it's one of my best.

Would it make you read on?

I'm now onto the tricky third edit and it still needs some structural work, so I can't give you a release date yet, I'm afraid.

But you know you'll be the first to hear about it when I can.

Meanwhile, the uneasy truce I told you about a few weeks ago with the wasps who've built a nest in our cavity wall is officially over.

The little pests have managed to find a way inside.

I don't know how they're doing it, but every day I've been finding up to 20 of them glued to the window, trying to break out.

And every time I set them free, more seem to turn up in their place.

It's war!